gekigengar gargant III!!! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aestivalis) wrote2012-02-15 06:35 pm
aestivalis) wrote2012-02-15 06:35 pm
(no subject)
Today, at work...
I asked a gentleman if he needed assistance, and he responded that he was looking for some hand cream for his 'partner'.
My heart caught on it, and I'm ashamed to admit that I had to consciously decide how to proceed. It's very very obvious how I should have continued - and indeed that's what I did, I followed his lead and used 'partner' for the rest of the conversation. But there was a nervous part of me that leaned toward female pronouns.
As it goes, I know exactly why it happened. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not desperately annoyed with myself either. A few months ago I used the word 'partner' when talking to a customer and he very pointedly sneered that 'we don't have partners, we have husbands and wives'. It really jarred me at the time, and as much as I was in no sensible position to challenge his statement I still regret not having taken him up on it. The fact that his stupid comment has invaded my work persona so thoroughly is particularly distressing.
But mm, it surprised and unsettled me a bit really, that my sense of requirement would betray me so thoroughly. My partner is-- w-well, my partner, haha, that's the term I (we) use and it's the term I naturally fall on using with other people as well. But put me in my work uniform and I'm suddenly in that environment and state where I'm second guessing even in incredibly clear-cut situations like this one. The gentleman led with 'partner', of course that was his preferred term. And indeed, as I said, that is how we proceeded. I just don't like having caught myself checking if it would be okay.
As it happens, he was shopping for his male partner. So god, fuck, imagine how... foul and demeaning it would have been if I had pressed female pronouns onto them. How frustrating to be undercut so easily, to be so smoothly erased by presumption. Gross gross gross.
I suppose, in a roundabout sort of way, this update is loosely a feeling of satisfaction. I don't want to be someone who hesitates, but in this case I'm largely attributing that outwards. A hesitation may have been there, but it didn't feel like my own - the best thing I can do is be aware and stay true to my own senses and convictions. To respect people and to respect myself, I suppose.
I apologise, this really doesn't have any particular point. It's just something I feel a little better for articulating, and what is this journal for if not helping myself out when I need it, right?
Meanwhile, I need to get many icons. I have paid account, I must use icon slots. (Because what ELSE do we buy these things for, right?)
I asked a gentleman if he needed assistance, and he responded that he was looking for some hand cream for his 'partner'.
My heart caught on it, and I'm ashamed to admit that I had to consciously decide how to proceed. It's very very obvious how I should have continued - and indeed that's what I did, I followed his lead and used 'partner' for the rest of the conversation. But there was a nervous part of me that leaned toward female pronouns.
As it goes, I know exactly why it happened. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not desperately annoyed with myself either. A few months ago I used the word 'partner' when talking to a customer and he very pointedly sneered that 'we don't have partners, we have husbands and wives'. It really jarred me at the time, and as much as I was in no sensible position to challenge his statement I still regret not having taken him up on it. The fact that his stupid comment has invaded my work persona so thoroughly is particularly distressing.
But mm, it surprised and unsettled me a bit really, that my sense of requirement would betray me so thoroughly. My partner is-- w-well, my partner, haha, that's the term I (we) use and it's the term I naturally fall on using with other people as well. But put me in my work uniform and I'm suddenly in that environment and state where I'm second guessing even in incredibly clear-cut situations like this one. The gentleman led with 'partner', of course that was his preferred term. And indeed, as I said, that is how we proceeded. I just don't like having caught myself checking if it would be okay.
As it happens, he was shopping for his male partner. So god, fuck, imagine how... foul and demeaning it would have been if I had pressed female pronouns onto them. How frustrating to be undercut so easily, to be so smoothly erased by presumption. Gross gross gross.
I suppose, in a roundabout sort of way, this update is loosely a feeling of satisfaction. I don't want to be someone who hesitates, but in this case I'm largely attributing that outwards. A hesitation may have been there, but it didn't feel like my own - the best thing I can do is be aware and stay true to my own senses and convictions. To respect people and to respect myself, I suppose.
I apologise, this really doesn't have any particular point. It's just something I feel a little better for articulating, and what is this journal for if not helping myself out when I need it, right?
Meanwhile, I need to get many icons. I have paid account, I must use icon slots. (Because what ELSE do we buy these things for, right?)