gekigengar gargant III!!! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aestivalis) wrote2025-02-18 08:05 pm
aestivalis) wrote2025-02-18 08:05 pm
dewey, however, would never get caught
Had an ASTONISHING dream last night that Death Note was taking place in the setting of Malcolm in the Middle and Malcolm had found the Death Note. He had used said Death Note, acquired the Kira persona, but due to being Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle it had all gone horribly wrong (even more horribly wrong?). The dream itself consisted of Malcolm being taken to court and found guilty of the crime of Being Kira, sentencing to occur at a later date. Malcolm left the courtroom, met Lois and Hal outside, then stalked back into the courtroom and started furiously berating each and every legal representative present for all the stupid mistakes they'd made in catching him.
Like, yes, he IS Kira, but the way you all "deduced" it was sheer dumb luck and total conjecture! None of your reasons make sense! You're all so stupid, and the fact that you've caught him is the biggest miscarriage of justice imaginable! This is so totally unfair!
Truly incredible stuff.
In a third but slightly more traceable layer of crossover, Hal was dying of lung cancer. (Breaking Bad. This is a Breaking Bad reference. As funny as that sentence would have been by itself I feel obligated to elucidate why my subconscious would do Hal like that.)
If Malcolm actually did acquire a Death Note, I'm absolutely certain he'd use it. I even think he'd reach the same conclusion as Light about trying to use it for some sort of warped "good". However, I think he would have a peptic ulcer the size of a fist in less than a week. There is no way the stress of having and responsibly using a Death Note wouldn't send him completely deranged in a matter of days.
If Reese found it in their shared room, he would almost definitely write his own name to test it, then immediately panic because WHAT DID HE JUST DO, OH GOD, HE JUST PICKED A NAME HE KNEW HE COULD SPELL, AHHHHH
Ignoring the deeply unfortunate scenario above, Malcolm would eventually (rapidly) break down and confess his murder spree to Lois, who would laugh and say "oh honey, it's just a book, you really think you killed people just because you wrote them down in your little death journal?" and when Malcolm insists YES, MOM, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED she'd roll her eyes and tell him he's being ridiculous and he's still going to school tomorrow so get used to it.
In desperation, Malcolm would confess to Hal instead.
Hal: Oh Malcolm, it's alright—what growing boy doesn't make a few mistakes? A little bit of youthful indiscretion doesn't mean anything!
Malcolm: Dad, I killed people! Don't you think that goes a little beyond "youthful indiscretion"?!
Hal: I said what I said.
(Hal has absolutely killed people.)
Like, yes, he IS Kira, but the way you all "deduced" it was sheer dumb luck and total conjecture! None of your reasons make sense! You're all so stupid, and the fact that you've caught him is the biggest miscarriage of justice imaginable! This is so totally unfair!
Truly incredible stuff.
In a third but slightly more traceable layer of crossover, Hal was dying of lung cancer. (Breaking Bad. This is a Breaking Bad reference. As funny as that sentence would have been by itself I feel obligated to elucidate why my subconscious would do Hal like that.)
If Malcolm actually did acquire a Death Note, I'm absolutely certain he'd use it. I even think he'd reach the same conclusion as Light about trying to use it for some sort of warped "good". However, I think he would have a peptic ulcer the size of a fist in less than a week. There is no way the stress of having and responsibly using a Death Note wouldn't send him completely deranged in a matter of days.
If Reese found it in their shared room, he would almost definitely write his own name to test it, then immediately panic because WHAT DID HE JUST DO, OH GOD, HE JUST PICKED A NAME HE KNEW HE COULD SPELL, AHHHHH
Ignoring the deeply unfortunate scenario above, Malcolm would eventually (rapidly) break down and confess his murder spree to Lois, who would laugh and say "oh honey, it's just a book, you really think you killed people just because you wrote them down in your little death journal?" and when Malcolm insists YES, MOM, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED she'd roll her eyes and tell him he's being ridiculous and he's still going to school tomorrow so get used to it.
In desperation, Malcolm would confess to Hal instead.
Hal: Oh Malcolm, it's alright—what growing boy doesn't make a few mistakes? A little bit of youthful indiscretion doesn't mean anything!
Malcolm: Dad, I killed people! Don't you think that goes a little beyond "youthful indiscretion"?!
Hal: I said what I said.
(Hal has absolutely killed people.)
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(i'll stop)
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Oh, my God, I love this. I love every word of this entry. This is all perfect, and I desperately want to see it as an actual filmed Malcolm in the Middle episode, or, failing that, fanfiction.
If Reese found it in their shared room, he would almost definitely write his own name to test it, then immediately panic because WHAT DID HE JUST DO, OH GOD, HE JUST PICKED A NAME HE KNEW HE COULD SPELL, AHHHHH
God, he would. Awful! But also hilarious. Sorry, Reese (and sorry, Malcolm; I'm trying very hard not to think about how badly this particular development would fuck that poor kid up).
(Hal has absolutely killed people.)
Perfect ending to a perfect entry. I am losing my mind about all of this.
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LMAAAAOOOO oh no that IS what'd happen! All of this is incredible :D