snowflake #6

[aestivalis]

I've been doing a bit casually dreadful at keeping up with snowflake_challenge, but fortunately it doesn't have a time limit so here's a chance to try and catch up a little! Plus I'm feeling completely drained today, which is no good at all, so let's try and spin some energy up and share some words with y'all!

Today's challenge is to recommend three fanworks by someone other than myself, which immediately trips me up in a way that makes me feel a little bit ashamed! I write fanwork fairly regularly, and I read things written by friends of mine. Outside of those specific confines? I guess I don't actually engage that much, oop.

But I've given this a bit of thought, and landed on a few things!

WELL, this has gotten off to a terrible start, because there was a specific Final Fantasy VIII fan fiction series I wanted to recommend and it appears to be deleted now! What a bummer. Now I'll never find out what happens after Squall's ex-wife is killed in a drunk-driving incident! (YES, REALLY.) Moving on, I guess!

1. I'm pretty confident recommending anything that riona has written, honestly. I never think of myself as someone who reads a ton of fanfic, but whenever Riona posts something new I always go to read it even when I'm canon blind. Her dialogue is always really snappy and evocative, and her writing style is really simple and accessible but in a way that just makes the sucker punches hit all the harder. Whenever I think about how I should write more fic, and be more confident in just writing whatever I want regardless of anything else, Riona is the person I think of.

Right now I'll especially recommend her Last Of Us 2 fics, especially If Nowhere Else and In Fainter Ink. The comments on In Fainter Ink are also a good example of how not to review, but that's a whole OTHER conversation.

(On that note, goal for this year: do better at leaving reviews when you read things!)

2. If you're on the prowl for some DUBIOUS INCEST, check out windian. I love what Nina's been writing lately (Half Light is going places, man, and I am here for it), but the huge variety of content and ideas on display in her work is super inspiring. I love her willingness to explore different tenses! I love her dedication to deeply damaged sibling relationships!

And just to call out one fic in particular, I love her Zestiria fic that touches on the aftermath of Dezel's actions in Pendrago and what was going on between him and Rose. Consequences sums up something I love about Nina's stories—she digs into canon, finds loose ends or points of interest, and sees them to fruition. As someone obsessed with Canon Divergence AU's, THIS SPEAKS TO ME.

3. When Fel linked me this Hanneman/Seteth non-con fic I read the tags and angrily proclaimed, "No, Hanneman would never--!", and then I read it and...



(It's actually great. It's porn, and it's nonsense, and it's fantastically in-character and weirdly easy to buy into and 10/10 would be mortified again.)

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

omg no you're going to make me blush

♥ ♥ ♥

I really don't know how to express how much this means to me! This entry just punched me straight in the heart, but in a good way, if that makes sense? I am deeply, deeply touched to the point of being inarticulate. Thank you so much; I'm so glad you like my stuff, and I'm especially glad if my habit of being wildly self-indulgent can help you feel supported in writing the stuff you want to!

ALSO:

Now I'll never find out what happens after Squall's ex-wife is killed in a drunk-driving incident! (YES, REALLY.)

WHAT

[muccamukk]

I love fic that can totally talk you around on characterisation/pairings/whatever that you don't agree with. Especially via nonsense porn.

[spikedluv]

I have no idea what fandoms you're talking about *g*, but I really enjoyed reading this entire post, especially this bit, 10/10 would be mortified again. Thanks for sharing these recs!

[aestivalis]

I know, right?! There really is nothing quite like that feeling when an author invites you on some wild ride and you find yourself genuinely convinced along the way. And yes, especially if that wild ride happens to involve nonsense porn!

[aestivalis]

Hahaha, ghfdjks, I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway! I wasn't feeling at my most articulate when I put this post together, but I think I managed to get all the important emotions across, ghfjkdsl

[aestivalis]

Ahhh, you're quite welcome! Wildly self-indulgent is definitely the way to go but it's not always easy to resist those hints of self-consciousness that try to creep in. I honestly find it so wonderful and admirable to see anyone able to truly embrace whatever it is that speaks to them! And I really do mean everything else I said. I have a habit of getting overly florid in my writing, and hedging constantly, and I really admire your ability to convey so much with so few words. You're writing always manages to be really impactful and tight, it's great stuff!

BUT WHATEVER, I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY STILL HERE FOR SQUALL'S EX-WIFE

So this wild ride actually begins in a completely different fanfic. It's a number of years since the end of FFVIII, and Rinoa never returned from Time Compression. No one knows what happened to her. :(

Zell is trying to get his life sorted, and he's taken to visiting Seifer in prison. I guess Seifer didn't get to just go peace with the fishes in this version of events. This first fic really just chronicles the months and years of Zell slowly becoming the only person who still bothers to visit Seifer (WHERE WERE RAIJIN AND FUJIN? THIS IS A GLARING OVERSIGHT), and eventually Seifer finishes his prison term, goes to live with Zell (at Edea's Orphanage for some reason, I think?), and they become boyfriends.

THEN THE MAIN STORY BEGINS, and my god is it one glorious ridiculous far too compelling soap opera mess. But like... so, Squall has married Squallwife (who I have tragically forgotten the name of), and they have had a son together but have since split up. Squall has never gotten over Rinoa's disappearance, everyone agrees. His friends worry about him a lot. He drinks too much sometimes. He might have tried to harm himself (I can't remember exactly). I can't for the life of me remember what their son was called, but gasp! son is starting to show... sorceress powers?! what could this meeeean....

MEANWHILE, Rinoa returns from Time Compression! Not a day has passed for her. She rocks up outside Edea's Orphanage like "oh hey guys what's going on, wow you look like you've aged ten years ha ha" and Seifer and Zell are like "sweet jesus christ" as you might imagine. Rinoa is completely traumatised to learn she disappeared from time for ten years and the world has moved along without her. She's heartbroken to learn of Squall's marriage. She wants to see him...

... and he is the Knight to her Sorceress, so he starts feeling her presence, and hearing her thoughts, knowing the pain she's experiencing. But that's impossible! Rinoa is gone! Squall thinks he is going mad and spends some time on the edge of a cliff before (I think) Laguna talks him back from the edge. But Squall doesn't understand what's happening to him. And Squallson is saying strange things about the pretty woman with brown eyes and white wings, and showing more and more powers, and Squall and Squallwife have no idea what to do.

IN TRUE HOLLYOAKS FASHION, instead of just going "well, Rinoa, let's go see Squall", or at the very LEAST, "well, let's let Squall know Rinoa is alive", Zell and Seifer decide the best thing to do is keep Rinoa's return a secret because obviously Squall won't be able to handle the truth. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY AN AWFUL IDEA, but they go forward with it anyway??? Rinoa goes to an abandoned house and has some kind of sorceress breakdown and gets a bit mind-breaky on susceptible-to-this-shit Seifer, but Zell snaps them both out of it. But clearly Rinoa is a sorceress functioning without her Knight, and that isn't good. So they? convince her to break her connection to Squall, I guess? BECAUSE THAT WILL HELP? And then she forms a new connection with Zell instead, because he's willing to do that for both Rinoa and Seifer's sakes. He'll be her Knight, and they'll get through this.

UNSURPRISINGLY NONE OF THAT HELPS SQUALL'S MENTAL STATE. Only thing worse than feeling as though Rinoa is somehow back with him yet still a thousand miles away? Is the profound sense of sadness and farewell that floods him out of nowhere, immediately followed by that sensation of her presence vanishing as suddenly as it returned. Nice work guys.

There's supposed to be some sort of... maybe a celebration of Squall's awesome achievements or something? The FFVIII cast will be in attendance, maybe it will get Squall's mind off of things. It'll be fine. It'll be fine????

It isn't fine.

Squall and Squallwife both get drunk and argue. No one knows what to do. And Rinoa IS THERE AS WELL, BECAUSE YEAH, Rinoa asks if she can go (but she'll keep a low profile! no one is expecting her to be there so it'll be fine! she just wants to see squall a little bit!), and Zell and Seifer are like SURE WHY NOT, WE'RE THE FUCKING KINGS OF BAD DECISION LAND and they bring her along as well.

Something upsets Rinoa, although I don't remember what. Probably seeing Squall? She runs out of the party, heart in her throat, paying no attention to where she's going... and steps in front of a vehicle, protecting herself with magic but not being able to prevent the driver from flying through the windshield. It's Squallwife, also trying to leave the party after a miserable evening. Rinoa tries to save her but it's too late. With no other choice, Rinoa flees into the night just as Squall arrives to fall on his knees before his dead wife... AND THAT'S WHERE THE LAST UPDATE I SAW LEFT THINGS OFF.

It was an absolutely bonkers story, but it had passion for days and I loved it for that. The author made it very clear that this was a story they had already written once before, back on fanfiction.net, and that they were rewriting it for AO3 with a keener eye. This felt most obvious with Squallwife, who you can just tell was written to be the unpleasant counterpoint to Rinoa in the original work, and was getting a bit of a posthumous sympathy-write in this retelling. I kind of liked her—she was really going through it, even before the windshield thing.

I'll now be forced to forever wonder how things turned out. So much of it felt so silly and frustrating, but in that wonderfully campy soap opera way where you can't help but wring your hands and say "you idiots!" but still keep reading along waiting to see what'll happen next. And there were some elements I really liked! The thought of someone lingering in Time Compression for so much longer than the others? Brilliant, 10/10 misery! Zell's gesture of becoming Rinoa's Knight for the sake of these two people he loves? Yes, more of that!

But alas. I suppose I could attempt to track down the original story back on FF.net and see what happens there, but it just wouldn't be the same. I guess, tragically, we'll never know what became of Squallson and friends....

[rionaleonhart]

While my heart is still exploding, I am so here for Squall's ex-wife.

I'm surprised by how powerfully upset I am by the idea of Raijin and Fujin not visiting Seifer in prison! (Although I am absolutely in favour of Zell visiting.)

he starts feeling her presence, and hearing her thoughts

oh no I might be into this concept

Zell and Seifer decide the best thing to do is keep Rinoa's return a secret because obviously Squall won't be able to handle the truth.

NO DON'T

For a fic I'm not technically reading, I'm getting surprisingly invested in this!

has some kind of sorceress breakdown and gets a bit mind-breaky on susceptible-to-this-shit Seifer

This sounds pretty great.

Zell becoming Rinoa's knight: also very good! I do have a fondness for Zell/Rinoa. (And Zell/Squall, and Zell/Seifer. I suppose Zell is just one of those characters I find very shippable.)

and Zell and Seifer are like SURE WHY NOT, WE'RE THE FUCKING KINGS OF BAD DECISION LAND

I snorted aloud at this.

This sounds magical and ridiculous and I'm extremely sorry to hear it's been scrubbed from the Internet, but, on the other hand, there's no way it could be as beautiful as your summary, so I'm glad its deletion forced you to write this.